Football Cliches – Week 2 – “Take on fluids”



Week 2 : “Take on some fluids”

It was somewhere around the early 2000s while working in the heady world of the soft drinks industry that I first noticed everyday words  such as drinking and water becoming Marketing buzzwords such as “hydration” and “aqua”. Not to be left behind ,”the beautiful game” also adopted this trend and where as once we had the physio with his “magic sponge” we now had the players “taking on fluids” during a match. It wasn’t long before every pundit from ‘Soccer Saturday’ to ‘Match of the Day’ was remarking on how badly the players needed to “take on fluids” as opposed to simply “taking a drink”. I understand that times have changed and it’s no longer good old H2O that is being consumed during a match but quite why we have the phrase “taking on” is beyond me. I’ve seen The Poseidon Adventure, the taking on of fluids ain’t a good idea.

The first time I heard this cliche coined I remember instantly being reminded of Adam Sandler’s epic portrayal of Bobby Boucher in The Waterboy and half expecting to see a village idiot figure scampering onto the field of play with a bucket, a second glance at the screen confirmed it was in fact Wayne Rooney on my screen so I guess I was half right! Thinking back to some of the epic footballers that I’ve seen grace the green fields of the SPL, I wonder just exactly what “fluids” they had taken on before the game started and in fact there was one rather portly ginger-haired ex-Celtic player who was rumored to enjoy having a “cold Becks” on the the team bus en route to away matches.


The Waterboy “takes on some fluids”

Of course we all know that even some of the simplest of tasks can be beyond the reach of the average footballer, take Mario Balotelli’s infamous ‘bib fight’ for example, but surely the taking on of fluids is a relatively simple task? Apparently not if you are an Australian female footballer it would seem! One can only be glad that her teammate was close at hand to aid her in the task.


This post has of course made me reminisce about the golden era of when footballers could actually get through 45 mins of what most of us regard as a hobby without the need to guzzle gallons of liquid to get them to half-time. The modern game really does miss those days when players such as Teddy Sherryingham, David Gin-ola, Alex Miller, Rudi Vodka, Damien Duff, David Becksham, Oliver Bier-hoff, Dick Advocat, Magners Hedman and the great Grenadine Zidane graced the field of play.

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