The new season is almost upon us and as we prepare to watch out heroes in action we thought it only fitting to give the latest kits the 48 Shades treatment. Not being known for our trend-setting ways we have had to channel our inner John-Paul Gualtier to aid in our quest, unfortunately this has left us over-pronouncing our vowels and with a desire to sing Madonna in the local noraebang. We have split the kits into those that deserve to get their team relegated and those that befit a team still in with a shout of adding some silverware to their dressing rooms. Here is a rundown of those that we reckon are Classhit!
Firstly, we think that this is Suwon’s new kit although the sponsor and club badge will have changed by the time you see it on a pitch near you. Yes, Suwon had their player turn up to the KLeague kick-off press conference in last year’s kit and the club website still has no details of this year’s kit but 48 shades’ sleuthing skills have turned up this picture of the 2016 offering. Frankly speaking this is basically Hummel’s riff on Le Coq’s 2015 FC Seoul home and away kits with some chevrons chucked on the shoulders. It looks fine but we’ve marked it as relegation fodder for its lack of originality.
The devil may wear Prada but we at 48 Shades reckon he wouldn’t be seen dead in Suwon Bluewings’ 2016 kit-astrophe! They seem to have added some go faster stripes to both the shirts and shorts in what one imagines is designed to give the full-kit wearers a nifty look as they’re making a hefty retreat after another trouncing by Jeonbuk. We like how player’s names are not the priority, probably to allow for ease of offloading anyone good in the summer to make up for a lack of sugar daddy investment from Samsung.
We understand there’s not a whole lot you can do with a yellow and red striped strip and it is the kit equivalent of offering Alan Pardew a 7yr contract but seriously this season they are taking liberties. Its like they gave the task of designing this year’s ensemble to the recently-fired intern on his last day. It’s not so much the ‘Plain Jane’ look they’ve gone for as much as a ‘Jane Doe’ look as nobody will want their name emblazoned across the back of this monstrosity. The away kit is another case of same design different colour as the yellow is replaced with white!
The home kit is basically a cheap knock-off of Borussia Dortmund, perhaps a ploy to get all those armchair Bundesliga fans to come along to a game? It doesn’t actually look too bad but it scores poorly for originality and when it came to designing the away kit, it looks like they’ve just shoved the contrast slider in MS Paint a few points to the the left and called it job done. The only unique thing about this is the placement of the club badge over the sternum instead of the heart…
Having spent years trying to emulate their Suwon Bluewings heroes on the pitch by winning hee-haw they now seem to have launched a tribute kit and can now definitely be considered to be #moreSuwonthanSuwon who themselves are #moreChelseathanChelsea. They say that you should wear stripes to make you look taller and we reckon those go-faster stripes running from shoulder to knee are a cheap way to try and emulate the panic that the Wookie used to induce among visiting defences.
We get it you come from an island and you are hugely proud of your main export, the Hallabong orange but you also produce Hallsan Soju and we don’t see you picking players up and shaking them before hitting them on the arse. And all that before we even comment on it looking like a Formula One racing jersey gone wrong. Still, one that is sure to be popular with the ‘elf and safety crowd in the UK.